Mallu jokes

A Sheikh was admitted at the Lilavati Hospital in
Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally a malayalee named Rajappan Trichur ,
Kerala was located who had a similar type of
blood.
Rajappan
willingly donated his blood for the Sheikh.
After the surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan as
appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a Million Dinars.

Once again the Sheikh had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned
Rajappan who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Sheikh sent Rajappan a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.

Rajappan was shocked to see that
the Sheikh this time did not reciprocate
Rajappan’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Sheikh and said “This time also I thought that you would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery….
But you gave only a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.

At this the Sheikh replied:

” Mone
Rajappa…now I have a malayalee’s blood in my veins!”

1) What is the tax on a Mallu’s income called? IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study? In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today? He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff? To yearn meney.
6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire? He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon? MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

What is Malayali management graduate called? Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ? He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday? An Oto

11) Where does he pray? In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee’s best friend ? A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard? Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala? Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait? He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say ‘KEEP QUWAIT’ ‘KEEP QUWAIT’

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line? ” Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where ”

17) Why aren’t Mals included in hockey and football teams ? Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN bones….

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kunju Abdullah, an Indian guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, “I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try”

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself ” I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?” So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, “I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?” So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.
Kunju says to himself, “I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?” So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said “Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.”

Calmly, Kunj turns to the other candidate and says “Entha Sugham alle”

The other candidate answers ” Nee Poda Pulle”